I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
MIDGETS
????
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
