Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
