well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
