Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
