I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
True strength comes from lack of pants
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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