You're completely useless in the revolution.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The best revenge is premature balding
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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