You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
