it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize