Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
