Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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