I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
