sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Randomize
