I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
