ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
