just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
