His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
