So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
