I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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