**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
