I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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