No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
