i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
