I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
