you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
