i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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