Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
