the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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