I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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