It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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