Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
