I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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