No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
