and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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