Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
