drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize