yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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