fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
