no, he came in my armpit
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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