i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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