dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
