They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
high people should be assigned attendants
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
