Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
