The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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