i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
