"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
NoShamevember. You game?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize