I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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