Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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