Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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