I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
