Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
