I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
They are going to name an STD after you.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
