Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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