Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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