On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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