well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
