This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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