is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
