just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
