i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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