you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
